5 Zulkaedah 1429 / 3rd November 2008

Dear Diary,

I’m stressed. I’m loving it. Everything is here now as if they can’t wait. Everyone’s bothering now, as if they don’t know. What a time. But I’m loving it. Being under pressure lets me grow. And I reject the idea, “Let me do this first, I’ll get to that later because I really can’t”. This clause is meant for weak people(read: losers), at least that’s what I think. Maybe I’m too harsh. That’s why my name is what it is.

Diary,

I’m starting to resemble my older brother. I’m starting to live the ‘fight for my right !’ method. And I saw that in my older brother back then, and still now. We’re like our late mom. We don’t understand the term win-win, only the clause win-lose. No two person can win at the same time, that’s what we loved thinking. That’s probably why only the two of us dare argue everybody’s decision in the family while the rest would end up  saying ‘OK’.  

I’m about to enter a door where tolerance is of great use and need. A door where win-lose thinking might not work at all, probably a disastrous method. A door where a change is to be directed towards what I’ve never thought of. What a door ?!

Diary, I need to focus and get my tasks done. I’ll meet you somewhere soon. 

“Whoever asks for patience, Allah will grant him patience”