Managing Connections

It took me a while to get this part going. It’s not that I don’t know what to write, but I just don’t know how to get ideas written very often. I had a lot of thinking going on for the past month, but just couldn’t scribble them down.

What I’m trying to address here is our skills or rather the concepts we should have in us when managing connections. We’ll discuss through the basics of what to look at, and frankly speaking, they are my theories.

Relating back to the six basic functions I quoted from Roger E. Allen [now on, he'll be addressed as RA], I would consider they would still apply good in here.

Establish objectives with the people you know. Some are well acquainted with you through daily encounters. Some are meant to be your friends, and you’ll certainly have foes. Be progressive in your relationship. Take those appropriate to the next level. Talking in a view of muslim, friends are meant to take you to ‘Adn, and foes are meant similar. So muslims think positively. They progress positively. Putting things further ahead, some connections you have, require you to take them somewhere. As a muslim, da’wah is a core thing to bear in mind. It shouldn’t slip your mind, and it shouldn’t be a burden. It’s part of your life, so make an effort. 

Recognize your network, establish the objectives for each and every one of them. It would be easier to put them in groups. Say, friends; you need to keep in touch, closer ones, keep updated and most importantly, take them somewhere good i.e. make da’wah unto them. These are active friends. For ‘colleagues’, take them to a level ahead. These are active as well. Tarbiyyah is widespread. Everybody needs them, so don’t stop giving. Your part is what? Identify them. Next for people you meet once a week or maybe less. Address them your most prominent ideas, your characteristics. Let them distinguish you out of the rest. These are those one day you would have a chance to make da’wah on them, or probably the one to support you. But don’t expect to much from them as they are your passive friends. So, identify the objectives for your connections.

On the other hand, you’ll have family members. Now these people, they have the same groupings as friends above. Active ones, and passive. Your nucleus family, they are active. Then come your realtives. Some might be active and some might not. Active ones are those who care about you. Passive are those who enjoy good times with you, and when you’re sick, they are the hardest to reach. So just smile to them, and they deserve as what your passive friends do.

Next, the ‘officials’. Those you meet at work, and they subjected you under their administrative power. Be good. Know your objectives, what they can offer you, and what they can risk you. Judge between them. Active colleagues are those who are in your workgroup. They affect your daily performance quite well, and some of your personal agendas are affected by them as well. And some might be your targeted da’wah object. Don’t put to much effort to maintain with everyone, because most are foes.

You should realise your capability. You need to organize your connections. Which comes first. Some are able to handle up to 20 active connections for every category, which would end up to have up to 60 active connections. Some will be exhausted. So balance well. These active connections that should be focused on. They’ll then require more of your motivations to get what you want done. That’s why you should know which are your really active connections. 

Developing your connections, simply say needs you to think what benefits they give you. Those who can benefit you the most, develope them, put effort in them. Spend time with them. And perhaps sacrifice your part for them.

Then communicate in an orderly fashion. They know you as someone. So who is that someone? It depends on what ideas you have in mind, and upon what principles do you hold your life onto. If you’re a muslim, what sort of muslim are you? Mix and match or the simple true muslim? Remember, there is only on type of muslim accepted into ‘Adn. So this part, it’s how you present yourself. That’ll lead how you communicate.

And measuring your connections is a crucial thing. Ironically, this is where you weigh your profit from all the networks you have. This will help you decide your own network organization, what to motivate, which to develope and how to communicate. This then helps you decide whether or not to broaden your network, or simply hold it as it is.

So having friends, lots or them is good. But it’ll be better if you know what to do with them. Most of the time, you just play as a friend with everyone. That’s the most natural of a man.